I try very hard not to be "that mom." The mom who is always calling the school, who seems to want special privileges for her child/ren. However, this year, I seem to be becoming "that mom."
It started with me approaching the principal to talk about setting up accommodations for Abby for 4th grade, or at least letting me know who her teacher would be, so I could talk to her face to face about Abby's challenges in the classroom, and the THREE things I think it will take for her to be totally successful, both in the classroom, and in the rest of her day next year. Abby does VERY well in school. She loves school, and she works VERY hard, both academically and to control herself during the day. She expends A LOT of energy, just to behave. So when the day is over, and she gets home, she is tired, and she is DONE with behaving. She just CAN'T anymore. I accept that, and we roll with it, for the most part. However, I think there are a couple of things that the teacher can do next year, that will make it so she doesn't have to expend quite so much energy just behaving. The principal shot me down, with the statement of, "we only have one child in the school with ADHD severe enough for accommodations, and unless Abigayle is failing, it won't even be considered." Legally, she really can't say that. As a parent, I always have the right to request a 504 meeting. However, I have to work there occasionally, and I would rather NOT have my work environment be stressed and strained. Before anyone says, "it's your child's education, you should push for what she needs, no matter what!" I can say with absolute assuredness that Abby will be fine, academically, no matter what. She is not going to fail 4th grade if I don't get the accommodations I want in place. So, I'm torn as to what to do, and I'm more than a little irritated with the principal. (as an aside, every teacher I've talked to about this thinks the principal is being totally out of line.) As for the "accommodations" I'm looking for...allowing her to chew gum...an accepted accommodation to help with the impulsive talking out that is common in ADHD; the ability to stand while doing seat work; and to make sure that her instructional seat is in front of the teacher.
Secondly, today is Field Day. I've never heard of a school NOT wanting parent volunteers at Field Day, but our school is notorious for not wanting parent volunteers, or parents in the school at all...for whatever reason. I think it's bizarre, but I've never found it particularly CONCERNING, until now. I emailed the kindergarten teacher, and asked if I could please be there, with Mariella's medication. It would make ME more comfortable as a parent. I even degraded myself, saying that I knew I was being an over protective parent. I got an email back stating that "I could come and be on the side lines, but Mrs. T really doesn't want parents hanging around and helping." I'll say that it's not that I don't trust the school nurse, I just trust ME more. I don't expect the teachers to read Mariella's subtle signs of distress. I'm a little afraid that if she's playing and having fun, she might not listen to her lungs as well as she normally does. We've been very successful in keeping her ER trips to a minimum, and have totally avoided emergency admissions...and I'd like to keep it that way. So, I know the principal isn't happy with me, but really, when it comes to my kids health, I don't really care.
So, I'm "that mom." The mom I always said I wouldn't be. The one who seems to want special privileges for my kids. However, I don't think they are special...or even privileges. I think that my children deserve the best they can get for their education, and the best they can get for their health, and if I have to fight people for that, well, that's what I'm going to do.